Monday, January 25, 2016

Nothing is going to get me down

All my life I have been a jack of all trades and a master of none. I hardly ever finish what I start, and I get bored really easily.  (I promise this is leading to something) So needless to say fitness has been a love hate relationship on so many levels. When I would stop going to the gym, I had an excuse that was pretty legit. Had surgery on an ankle, broke the other one. Those kinds of things. I never really thought about how I should better myself and work through it. It seemed like just when it was hard, just when progress was slowly coming calamity would strike and I didn't have to keep working out. Regardless of all that I hope working out will do for me. Over all at the end of the day it made me feel better. Like cleared my brain. Losing weight is super hard for me. Medical reasons play a huge part in that but if I am not eating right, working out like a mad woman, and drinking tons of water. If any of those are not in tune and done with the others, the weight comes right back. No rest for the wicked. Anyhow, so here I am, about to have this major surgery. A tool that will help me keep the weight off that I am fighting so hard to lose. Though this tool is not all I am using. I am back in the swing of working out. I am pushing hard, I love it again. Then yesterday happened. I started getting this pain through my ear and into my head. Sharp, insane pain. Felt like I was under water. I couldn't hear well, but that wasn't the worst thing for me, it was pain, very very painful. I started to put pressure on it as if that would help, and do these weird head tilt to the side tick thing when it would strike me. This started moments before we left the gym yesterday,  as we went to let our kids play on the indoor playground, it got worse and worse. There were tons of people there and I didn't care who saw me, I broke down in tears. The pain was unbearable, I felt dizzy, and I couldn't hear well.  I had my husband take me to the ER. After what felt like forever waiting to be seen a doc looks in my ear says it looks a little pink but over all good, refers me to an ENT and  sent a nurse in with some pain meds.  Today with every fiber of my being I have to suck it up and move on, I can't get into the ENT as soon as I would like and so I took some pain meds and I am off to the gym. Because normally I would use this as a perfectly good excuse to stay home. Though personally, I am done accepting my excuses.
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