Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Let's talk about spoiling yourself.

Preparing for surgery I chose to prep in some ways that not only make me feel pretty, but I really needed the maintenance. See I think not only should you take time to do some of these things, but you should just spoil yourself once in a while. You deserve it. Watch the video. Enjoy.





Monday, January 25, 2016

Nothing is going to get me down

All my life I have been a jack of all trades and a master of none. I hardly ever finish what I start, and I get bored really easily.  (I promise this is leading to something) So needless to say fitness has been a love hate relationship on so many levels. When I would stop going to the gym, I had an excuse that was pretty legit. Had surgery on an ankle, broke the other one. Those kinds of things. I never really thought about how I should better myself and work through it. It seemed like just when it was hard, just when progress was slowly coming calamity would strike and I didn't have to keep working out. Regardless of all that I hope working out will do for me. Over all at the end of the day it made me feel better. Like cleared my brain. Losing weight is super hard for me. Medical reasons play a huge part in that but if I am not eating right, working out like a mad woman, and drinking tons of water. If any of those are not in tune and done with the others, the weight comes right back. No rest for the wicked. Anyhow, so here I am, about to have this major surgery. A tool that will help me keep the weight off that I am fighting so hard to lose. Though this tool is not all I am using. I am back in the swing of working out. I am pushing hard, I love it again. Then yesterday happened. I started getting this pain through my ear and into my head. Sharp, insane pain. Felt like I was under water. I couldn't hear well, but that wasn't the worst thing for me, it was pain, very very painful. I started to put pressure on it as if that would help, and do these weird head tilt to the side tick thing when it would strike me. This started moments before we left the gym yesterday,  as we went to let our kids play on the indoor playground, it got worse and worse. There were tons of people there and I didn't care who saw me, I broke down in tears. The pain was unbearable, I felt dizzy, and I couldn't hear well.  I had my husband take me to the ER. After what felt like forever waiting to be seen a doc looks in my ear says it looks a little pink but over all good, refers me to an ENT and  sent a nurse in with some pain meds.  Today with every fiber of my being I have to suck it up and move on, I can't get into the ENT as soon as I would like and so I took some pain meds and I am off to the gym. Because normally I would use this as a perfectly good excuse to stay home. Though personally, I am done accepting my excuses.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

24 hours in the day

 I am by nature, a morning person. Though at night I have insomnia. So here is a typical day.   First thing I do every morning is roll over at 4am and take a pill to regulate what little life is left of my pathetic excuse for a thyroid. What a pain in the ass this thing is. I can't have anything other then water in my stomach several hours before or after. So the best time to take it is 4am. I have already gotten up like three times before this to pee, but go figure right this moment I have to pee like I have been holding it for 8 hours straight. I roll over and attempt to go back to sleep. Though you know..... my phone is calling to me..... "Pppppssssssstttttt    trapped skinny girl, some people on instagram commented on your photos...... PPpsssssssstttttt I think you have new friend request on Facebook..... Come look.... You know you wanna". So I have to see what in the world is going on with out me....Now on weekdays. My husband will be up at 5am. Bless his heart he tries to be quiet but he fails every morning. Plus our bedroom is right over our garage. Who ever thought of the layout of our homes, forgot we are in Army housing and that many of the soldiers living here have wives who are not up yet at 5am and after that garage door opens and closes, well.... We are awake now. (I feel bad for anyone who has babies sleeping in their rooms. These garage doors are super loud. I can even hear my neighbors when he comes and goes, we are connected)  Before I sneak downstairs, I get dressed in semi decent "if their was a fire right now no one would laugh if I was standing outside" clothes, brush my teeth and run a brush through my hair. I think I might have winked at myself. I am unsure. Now I am sneaking downstairs, because heaven forbid one of my four children wake up on my account. If I am lucky I can sneak in a cup of coffee before they wake up. Most of the time in my free hour until they wake up. I start to clean. I clean the kitchen and pick up the living room. I wake up my kids and then get all four ready for school. Which kinda looks like this..... Hey you, brush your teeth. Oh you don't want to? Well your teacher doesn't want to smell poopy breath. (2 seconds later) did you really brush your teeth? Come breath on me. (Teeth visually appear clean) I do a smell test. OH MY GOSH did you really think that not using tooth paste was the best idea? Then you blew your morning breath on me? REALLY? Get back in there and use tooth paste. Now I do that three more times. Hopefully soon they will stop trying to be lazy and just do it right the first time. Girls brush your hair. Why? Because you have long hair and you look homeless. Hey you, your shirts on back wards. Yes it is, stop arguing with me. Does everyone have a snack? Gloves, and hat? Nope, not you? You're missing one glove? Okay everyone, we are on a glove finding mission. STOP WHAT YOUR DOING... LOOK RIGHT NOW. (temperatures are negative here in the winter. Gloves and hats are a must)  Time is running out, I thank my lucky stars that they get to eat breakfast at school. Just as they get their final piece of snow gear on, the garage door opens, and that is cue, daddy is home from PT and the kids are to run out to the car. He then takes them to school. This is when I turn around and as fast as I can start to make him breakfast, if I time it just right, as he walks in the door it will be done. He is really good about making me feel appreciated and so I love making breakfast for him. He may also say something like, thank you so much for cleaning the kitchen. See around here when I hit a depressive state, or slack in my wife/mother duties he is my wing man and picks up the slack. He is amazing. So he knows I am the type of person who loves hearing good job when I do something and will continue to do so when I am shown appreciation. So at this point he is getting ready now for work, getting his uniform on and I am just sitting there planning out my day. I should get that one room clean, I need to organize that shelf, I need to really get that laundry done, oh crap I need batteries, milk, and more eggs, incoming email says I need to get that book back to the library today or we will get a fine. A small voice says..... can we sneak in going to the gym? I have a friend now that I talk to nearly every day and I remind myself to check on her, and oh good lord what is for dinner? Water, where is that damn water bottle at anyhow? Incoming call.  "Mrs. Trapped Skinny Girl this is the nurse at the school and I am calling because your daughter forgot her gloves and came in from outside and said her fingers hurt, I need you to bring her a pair".( ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She left them in the car) Okay, run husband to work bring gloves to child, throw a load in the washing machine (I will forget about it and have to redo it). Grab work out clothes. (Not all int hat order)  Go drop off the book at the library, run into the store to get more eggs and coffee creamer here on post. Milk is to spendy here have to run to Walmart for milk. Grab the milk, forgot the batteries. Pick up husband for lunch. Remembered the laundry, switch it over. throw clothes from dryer on my bed, and start a new load. Take dog out. I am on auto pilot in the morning so I did that after I got up hours ago, but now she of course needs out again. Like gosh why can't she go twice a day and be fine? Just kidding. Or am I?
So all of this is just between 4am and 11:30am. You may be thinking, look lady, we are all busy. Your life is no more special. Well you're right, but if I cared about everyone else right now, well I might just break. I am here blogging about me. This whole damn blog is about me. If you don't like it, read a different blog. <------ Oh man I went all brave there. I can really be slightly bitchy behind a screen. This is now where my day starts to slow down. I hit this weird tired wall. I am 34 years young. I could nap right now. It is kinda sad actually. I look at my fancy fitbit yea this purple monster that makes me some days feel like an Egyptian slave. I check my steps. AWWWWEEEEEE crap. Only 2300 out of 10k. How is that possible?  I am slacking. What will my fitbit buddies think? Okay, I have to take my husband back to work in a half an hour. So I change my clothes from in a hurry slacker mom, to oh yea I work out. A sports bra that is clearly to small around for me, a tank top, and a pair of tight work out pants. I throw on my awesome comfy new work out shoes these bright colored sketchers and look at myself in the mirror. I think, yea she is hot stuff. Naw,  something more realistic like, girl get a damn sweatshirt on. No one wants to see that flapping around. (Let's veer off for a moment. I saw on Facebook just yesterday a cartoon that if I can find it will be shown right now.... If it is not here means I couldn't find it, I am sorry. It was about a mom dragging her kids out of bed on a school day. Then next clip the weekend, the kids are butt crack of dawn jumping on mom and dads bed. THAT IS MY STORY..... I wake my kids at 7am... it is now 6:47am and my kids are awake on a Sunday. WHY??? WHY??? I don't get it. GO BACK TO BED..) So after I drop my husband off no excuses gym is really close. Now I have two to chose from. Gym A, I call the mommy and me gym. It is small and half the room is for kids to play. I feel sometimes better going there just for the simple fact it is smaller. The other one though MUCH bigger has a lot more to offer equipment wise but a lot more people. I am always in fear of people watching me, secretly snapping pictures of the fat girl trying to trot along on a treadmill. People say I am paranoid but I am not. I have seen people do it. Not to me yet that I know of, but others. So I choose the gym I want, I try to keep myself entertained the whole time. Wireless headphones pumping out amazing music, check. Awesomely bright comfy shoes, check. Water bottle, check. Game face, check. Treadmill 10-20 minutes as warm up. Then I work out my arms and upper legs with the weight machines. then I either climb stairs, or bike. It is anywhere from an hour to two hours. I head home and catch a shower. Most days forgot about that second load of laundry. For the sake of this story I will pretend I didn't and put the one in the dryer on my bed. As I am getting out of the shower I see the pile of laundry puke on my bed. I secretly wish all the clothes would magically disappear. But alas, nothing better then air drying and folding clothes. NO JUDGING, I am home alone and well who cares? Lets dig into why laundry sucks. I have four kids.. ENOUGH SAID. Little peoples clothes. It is just awful. If me telling my kids to fold their own laundry worked as much as when my husband tells them to, I wouldn't be here folding it. My girls almost wear the same clothes and so do my boys, it is just awful to fold, sort, put away. Who wears what? If I put the wrong shirt in one girls drawer, the other girl is going to flip out. The struggle is real people. When they freak out at me, sometimes I laugh. They have no idea what true stress really is. Someday they will call me and vent and I will laugh and they will be pissed, why mom, why are you laughing they might say? Oh ya know, when you were a kid you thought your shirt being in your sisters drawer was the end of the world, but now, you know... It's not. Back on track. It is about 3pm, school is out, kids will be walking home and be home in 15 minutes. I run down stairs, HELL NO all that laundry didn't get folded. I just folded the towels, and threw all the socks in one pile. All four kids are in elementary school, so all will have some sort of homework. Common core math has been trying to explode my brain for years now.  So we attempt to do that, snacks and hear about their day. Sounds easy enough right? WRONG! One kid is dying to go to a friends house, when I tell him no his world has ended and his nine year old self that everyone loves and adores is now throwing a fit on the ground and saying he hates me. In that moment, everyone who just loves him and thinks he is the sweetest most behaved kid they have ever met is welcome to come by and take him for a couple hours. Two kids want more snack then what I already gave them and freak out when I say no, and I am resorted to showing them parts of my fat body that have been the consequence of poor choices and bad eating habits. Sorry I had to take it there kids but you left me no choice. The fourth, the oldest, who has severe ADHD and the most homework is off hiding with my kindle trying to figure out the password. Her medicine is worn off and she is in her own world where puppies, and rainbows exist and homework is death.  Dinner, what is for dinner? I dodn't take out anything, and I really am in the mood for nothing.  Is it 5pm yet? Garage door opens, daddy is home. He sees the look of, please help me, on my face and rescues me. Starts helping with homework, I start dinner, or vice versa. Dinner on the table. Now I am Mormon. <----- take that in for a moment...... Not a good one. Some people have a slang term for members like me. Jack Mormon. I am known to do things that are not what I should be doing. We all sin, you mind your sins I mind mine. Don't waste your stones on my glass house.   It is what it is. One thing I do that I will never stop doing is praying before we eat. So one kid prays and then we go around the table and say our best and worst of our day. I am always last. Not because my family doesn't care. I make it that way. My kids say stuff like.....   I got to play at said friends house today, eating dinner with my family, my sister played dolls with me, for the most part the bad of their day they say they don't have one. My husband always says good, being home from work, bad, having to go to work. As it gets to my turn there are so many things I want to say. This is what I say. My best was spending time with daddy for lunch. My worst I still have a pile of clothes sitting on the bed. Dinner wraps up, we clean up, watch a family show together, or play a game or something fun. Baths, brush teeth, and then bed. 8pm. 8:15pm boys, get to bed, stop playing.... 8:20 no you don't need more water... 8:30 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE GET BACK TO BED. We finally head to bed. I brush my teeth, and take my daily meds and vitamins. Lay in bed and smile and think man I am so damn lucky.


Saturday, January 23, 2016

Suzie at the gym

I want to talk about something that happened today. I ran into lets call her Susie. She is an amazing woman. I met her last year and it had nothing to do with her passion or losing weight or anything health related. I sold her yarn. I never knew then how this first meeting would be the start of anything. Later I learned she was hard core fitness buff. Well that is what I like to think of her as. When I first saw pictures of her, I thought, man I would love to even look a little like her. She has the body that a lot of women get jealous over and she has an I don't care if you don't like me attitude. (Which I need her to rub off on me some of that)  At one point her photos made me really jealous. I didn't care how she got to where she is. Her road or the bumps that may be in it. I was just jealous. Here is why. She loved the processes. Her photos were amazing to me. She does those, check out how toned and amazing this work out made me look photos. She worked hard and I wanted her dedication. I don't know her personal life, and we really have not talked much. One day I thought, rather then wish I was her, lets be me, with her help. She made a valid point. She would only work with me if I was dedicated enough to follow through. So I got a fitbit and I was to screen shot every day my steps. I was to put in hard work before she would push me harder.  I was doing so good. In fact every screen shot I sent her I felt one step closer. Then it happened. I had surgery on my ankle several months prior, and one day while coming down the stairs, my ankle gave out and I broke my other foot. It was the the worst pain I had ever felt. I have had gall bladder pain, I have had four kids, I have had several surgeries, I even had a hysterectomy. Nothing could compare to the unreal pain this made me feel. I spent the next three months in an aircast. I had a broken ankle. I gained so much more weight. I got so depressed and felt like such a failure. Every weekend my husband and I take our kids now to the gym and they play while my husband works out with me. Today she was there. I took one look at her and told myself, someday I am gonna own it like she does. Today I wasn't jealous. Today I realized, you want something great you gotta fight for it. So my husband and I did a great work out. During it, she stopped me and told me, she reads my blog and enjoys reading it. Now, call me a little corny, but I totally felt like a million bucks. I look up to her and here she was telling me she liked my blog. I told her about how I can't wait to have this surgery and how it is a great tool for me,  but it will only take me so far, and I needed to be here in the gym. She agreed. It was right then I knew, I didn't need her to motivate me. I needed to believe in myself. She did that in one little passing conversation. I admit that while she was there and I knew could see me (the room is super tiny) I pushed myself really hard. (My body will be thanking me later) Though after she left I didn't stop. My amazing husband and I did a lot of couple stuff and then in true Trapped Skinny Girl Style I ended with a free weights dance off. I even took off my sweat shirt.  SO Suzie, If you are reading this, thank you. For being you. Your words of encouragement mean more to me then you will know and I am so glad you are following my journey.

Friday, January 22, 2016

My war with the dressing room will one day be won.

To be honest had my friend not been on the phone with me when I went into the dressing room I think I might have cried. Today was not my day for trying on sports bra.

Click subscribe, cause that would be awesome to really take this far. Bring awareness to what we really go through, before during and after. The more followers, likes, shares. The better. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.   Enjoy the video. 


Thursday, January 21, 2016

Do you have a taste aversion?

Okay, so I have a taste issue. I can't do gritty, or slimy, or taste the vitamins. I also was told that after surgery your taste buds may change.  My surgeon said, not to really try stuff now, but to wait until after. Here are a few things I HOPE, and pray I still like after surgery. (DISCLAIMER - I am not trying to sell anything so please don't think I am. What works for me, or you is not what works for everyone) So the first thing I love that has tons of the good stuff I need is Thrive shakes. I can't taste grit, I am oddly addicted and it mixes well with the good stuff I put in it, yogurt, berries, milk ect.  I pray, like I have really prayed, out loud to God (not sure what you believe or not, but God, heavenly father, the big guy from the bible, yea we are pretty tight) please let me  keep it down, and still love Thrive shakes. Two I love love love OIKOS triple Zero yogurt. At first it was kinda different, it is a greek yogurt and I am not a huge fan of it. It kinda grew on me. So, two major things I love that pack a lot of protein.  For those that don't know protein and water intake are a huge part of after surgery life. Figuring out how to get as much as you can in a day, in very small portions. It can get tiring. So.... pray, think positive thoughts, put out good vibes, what ever you do,  that Thrive and this yogurt will still be something I love after surgery. I have a sample packet of Thrive to try after surgery. I am fighting not wanting to drink it right now. So do you have taste Aversions? Things you can't eat? Or how has things changed for you after surgery?