Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Letter to myself when I lose all my weight

Dear Skinny girl,
Wow, look at you. You have come so far. You look amazing. As I write this to you now, you are not skinny yet. I threw on size 3xl pj bottoms a 3xl shirt and a really big robe. I took my morning pills, drank some water and got this idea in my head. I knew times a head after our upcoming weight loss surgery would be hard. I knew that the one person you need to believe in you most is me and I would need to get a jump start on that. So I thought, I am going to write myself a letter. Here I am sitting with tears in my eyes. Skinny girl, do you know why I am crying? I cry because the day will come when you will read this. It will be addressed to you. One day the fat girl writing this will be the one who gets to read it.
I am so great at making others feel really good about themselves. I didn't want you to forget you are important too. Skinny girl, did you have to hurl yourself out of bed this morning? Or did you pop up, and know today was going to be a great day? Skinny girl, do we go to the gym? Do we love it? Are we taking selfies a lot to show off this new amazing body yet? Skinny girl, have we bought a little black dress and gone on a date yet? Skinny girl, I must know did you buy skinny jeans yet? Skinny girl, do you remember to eat well every day? Little to no cheating, and drink lots of water? So, do we go on bike rides with the kids? Have we gone on a hike yet that lasted hours? Skinny girl, do we have a matching bra and panties set? Did you buy your first bikini yet? Skinny girl, did we take our air plane selfie yet? If you have not, do so the next time you're on a plane. close your eyes and remember the moment you had to tighten the belt. Skinny girl, has anyone told you, you inspire them? That they are working hard because of you?
Skinny girl, I don't want you to forget a few things. One, remember where you started. Work hard to stay where you are. You can get back to that point at anytime so keep pushing. Don't ever look back. Two, you are not better then anyone. Wear your new body proudly, but don't be rude and rub it in everyone's face. Not everyone is afforded the same opportunity as you. You were once in their shoes. You once thought, you were going to be fat forever.  You will lose friends. You will find some people will not agree with your life choice after all. Be happy you met them, and had them in your life for the little while, but let them go. Misery loves company. We have waited a long time for this kind of happiness, don't let them get you down. With that said, don't walk on egg shells. Those in your life right now are there because they choose to be. I did a good job of running off anyone who might give you crap. You are welcome. Lastly, three, remember never stop loving yourself. Because when people tell you, you look great, or you are doing amazing, you won't believe them if you stopped loving yourself. Loving yourself keeps you going.Even if you are having a hard time.  Keeps the weight off, you eating healthy and taking care of you and your family. There will still be hard days. You made a life choice, don't regret a moment of it. Just push through the hard days. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to try again. Don't forget to thank those who are nearest and dearest to you for helping you reach your goals.
Now if we don't own a little black dress yet, please go and buy one, and take my husband on a date. Thank him for all his support, love, and selflessness. Without him, this would not have been possible for us.
Skinny girl I can't wait to see you. It has been so long. Though I hope you never get to see me.
The only time I was thin   12/20101623612_1406993199549492_1745185549_n

All my love.
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